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Kobold Kerfuffle
Posted by: Exterminatus (06/16/2019) * D-Rank Description “Got another touch-and-go job for you, Blue Hoods. A weird kobold came under my employ recently, and the little guy keeps yammering on about wanting to make a cult of some kind. After thinking it over, I reckon it might be worth trying. If it works, we’ll get some more local manpower to help fortify our position. If it doesn’t, you’ll clean up some of the vermin within spitting distance of our camp. It’s as much of a win-win as you can get in the Underdark. As an added bonus, it’ll also get Viks to shut the hell up. Problem is, nobody in our outfit is what you might call an ‘expert negotiator,’ so we’re hoping you can send us some people with a knack for diplomacy.” - Mr Bannister Journals Mavis Millwood (06/19/2019) We went to see Mr. Bannister at the entrance to the Underdark, who introduced us to a Kobold named Viks. He wanted us to convince some Kobold cults to join his gang. He called them Ironclaw, Stonetooth, and Blacktail. He said getting all of them would be nice but was happy with just two and even went with us. We went to convince Blacktail first. We encountered a group of them quickly. They were interested in magic and thought swords and non magic stuff were stupid. Naturally they liked me but not my friends. Eldran tried to get them to like him by conjuring a web but they didn't like that at all and pulled swords on us. Gods damn hypocrites. After many owchies we came out on top but their swords made my head hurt. After a quick rest, we continued to the Blacktail hideout. We met an albino Kobold who introduced us to his master, a mindflayer. He spoke to us in our minds that he wanted to turn us into his experiments and slaves. What is with telepathic squid dudes wanting to turn me into their slave lately? He tried to get into our heads but I was the one who got into his head. With a bolt of energy that is. His head just went BOOM! It was glorious. The albino guy surrendered to us and agreed to join Viks' gang. Viks summoned a door that led to a bar called "Wet Fart". We had drinks with the bartender, Relias. I like him. He also let us rest there. We then set out to see Stonetooth. We did the usual song and dance with some Stonetooth guards but we kicked their asses. We got to their headquarters and met a giant stone lady who's name I've already forgotten. Oh well, she and her earth elemental are dead anyway. She wanted servants to make her stuff. Now big stone ladies want to make me their slave. WHY IS IT ALWAYS SLAVERY!? After we killed her, Stonetooth joined Viks' gang. We decided against going to see Ironclaw because we were pretty tired after that. But Viks was happy so he paid us. Mission Complete. SEE I CAN WRITE SERIOUSLY WHEN I WANT TO!! - Mavis Millwood (This Job Journal is sponsored by Mavis' Mystical Musings. We have everything to suit your needs, from magical to mundane) Makto (06/22/2019) Our people go down to Mr. Bannister camp to deal with kobolds. We first go to Rottooth and promise them pearl to lead to leader. We find vain Genie woman in palace and banish her. She gone for now. After we go to Blacktail and tell them riddles to make them seem smart. They believe us and take us to their purple octopus leader. He found my intent and we had to strike upon him. The cruel white kobold cut to tears and promise to serve our people. We take a good rest at a magic drink circle. We last go to Ironclaw and find gate. Our magic man disguise to scare Kobold. I try to use my drum but he does not allow. He does not compose and we fall to war. We are battered by fire. Thank you to Illie, I lived to fight. We find arena and hear giant taunt us to fight. We dont know what to do, and he charge. I become Octopus to hold him at bay, but he greatly strong. Our people brave to swing again and again to his face. He dies against a pebble so powerful I've never seen. We succeed to quiet all three camps as the order. We are grateful.